Procrastination 101

It should be class, really. I'd get an A+.


Now, I have nothing against Tokio Hotel. I shamelessly admit that I have two of their songs on my iTunes, and I think it's pretty sweet that they're only a year (or two? not sure) older than I and have a world-wide fanbase.

But this is just too funny...



Is it horrible that I actually laughed aloud when I saw this? Sue me.

BRAND NEW EYES

I'm no music blogger (<-- click it, I dare you), but how could I pass up a chance to talk about one of my favorite bands on the day their third album drops. For those living under a rock in the, well, "rock"-esque world, Paramore's album Brand New Eyes came out today. I'm going to try to make this album review short and sweet and highlight two songs mainstream America probably won't hear.

Despite many comments of being "disappointed," I don't feel that in the least. Unlike those who are less than satisfied with this record, I approached it with really no expectations. The band was near-breaking point, they just ended a stint with No Doubt, there were too many outside factors to really predict or expect anything regarding what their sound would be like. After listening to BNE once, I already love it. Many bands can never go back to their original sound from their first record (Fall Out Boy with Take This To Your Grave, anyone?), but Paramore goes back to the raw emotion, feeling, power, and edge fans first saw and fell in love with in All We Know is Falling while production levels are much higher as in Riot!. Try listening through the whole album without jumping around or dancing at least once. Pretty tough and damn near impossible, let me tell you. On to the songs!

"Turn It Off" Contrary to the title, don't. Talking purely music, it's catchy but sounds like nothing too special: been there, heard that. Key word is "heard." What you need to do is listen, not just hear. The lyrics are what got to me. Close your eyes, lean back, and listen to Ms. Hayley Williams' words flow through the speakers. A verbal picture is painted, and it's one hell of a painting.

"All I Wanted" Now, this song picks up where "Turn It Off" falls a tad short. They complete each other, really. "All I Wanted" cannot compare to "Turn It Off" at all lyrically, but the instrumentals are powerful and the vocals. Oh, the vocals. The redhead-recently-gone-blonde spitfire shows us where that traditional vocal training went. There have been arguments that the she sounds strained. I'd love to hear them belt like Hayley does.

And here begins (and probably ends unless I find a stroke of inspiration) my music review writing.
For more on Brand New Eyes, please check out this review. I agree with most, if not all, of what is said in it. She covers every song on the record, even if just for one sentence.
And for more on music recommendations in general (and if you ignored my not-so-subtle link in the beginning), check out my wonderful friend Boy Wonder. His musical insight is fantastic, and you won't be disappointed. Money-back guarantee.

We All Need a Laugh

Especially in the midst of college move-ins, homework, and quizzes/tests

And this definitely makes me laughAnd for the record, I have read all 4 Twilight books. I am allowed to have my fun.


On a completely unrelated note, I made the club soccer team for my school, and I'm ridiculously stoked! :D

The People Who Matter Most

If there is one thing I've learned, it's that you can never take too many pictures or, more importantly, be in too many pictures. I, for one, hate getting my picture taken sans the rare times I'm in the mood to be a cam-whore. I'm usually the one behind the lens, and for not having a fancy, shmancy camera that has suddenly spiked in popularity all of the sudden, I think I take pretty decent pictures with my little digital. But I digress. Because of my fondness of taking pictures rather than being in them, I found that I wasn't in as many as I thought. Picking out pictures to print and take to college with me for decoration turned out to be both an easy and a difficult task: easy because I picked the few I was in and difficult because some my favorites were those I was not in and, incidentally, took myself.

Lesson learned. I've tried to include myself in as many opportunities for being in pictures as I can because, really, pictures become the memories that we can always revisit even when we forget. And, as narcissistic as it sounds, I'd like to be in other people's memories as well.

Title Credit: Action Item

The wall of my friends, family, and loved ones. Some from years ago. Some excluding myself. All with people I'll never forget. (For any facebookers who know me IRL, this is a more updated picture of my wall/collage than posted on Facebook)

Recipe for College

So, I have just begun my career as a college student. Exciting, no? Welcome Week was really fun: meeting new people, exploring the campus, seeing Anjelah Johnson/Bon Qui Qui perform (a personal favorite; ahh, private school), going on retreat, and *shudder* actually classes and learning. Here's my take so far...

Welcome Week/1st Week of Classes (shaken, not stirred for better results)

• 1 part anxiety (nervous or excited will do)
• ? parts boxes (filled with necessities and dorm stuffs; everyone has a different number he or she needs to move-in)
  
• 4-6 parts classes (get creative with this one; variety leads to different results)
• 2 parts awkward social situations (my personal favorite is the "meeting Facebook friends for real" but you may prefer the always lovely "ice-breaker game")
• 3 parts activities (so many options, so little time; choices include, but are not limited to, retreats, dances, concerts, parties, and beach trips -provided you are near one)

Throw everything into a cocktail shaker, and shake well. Or if you want a very well mixed concoction, throw it all in a blender. Once satisfied, pour slowly into a glass of your choice. I myself like the martini glass; looks classy and reminiscent of Sex and the City, though I never watched it. Garnish with good-byes and photos/posters to decorate, and if you really want a kick, sprinkle in some tears of the parental variety. I, for one, did not, but hey, sometimes they can't be help.

Sip slowly (or down it in one gulp) and enjoy!

Say It Ain't So (as sung by Weezer)

I think a little bit of me died today. Panic(!) at the Disco (I'm attached to the "!" but there is rumor of it coming back?? *fingers crossed*) is officially split in half. Brendon and Spencer are sticking it out while Ryan and Jon are off on a different (musical) career path. I almost feel ridiculous for feeling this way, but I don't think I can help it. What with all the official messages from the band members themselves, there is a dull ache within me, and I'm not trying to be melodramatic. Explanation as to why? Might as well...

I whole-heartedly admit that in the earlier years of my middle school career, I was trying to "fit-in"; I did not want to be embarrased because I wanted to be different. I wouldn't say I was in the "popular crowd" because I don't think those existed at our school, but I will say that I was in that main group of girls that everyone in our grade knew. I didn't care to be in it or not, but I was and didn't want to be judged. I tried to dress similar, I listened to the same music, and I went out on the weekends with them and watched movies that, to be honest, I had little interest in.
And then I found something for myself.
Watching MTV and TRL (when it was still alive and well), I saw music videos for My Chemical Romance's "Helena," Fall Out Boy's "Sugar, We're Going Down," and Panic! at the Disco's "I Write Sins Not Tragedies." Three bands, three songs. Different from the norm of mainstream, yet still making it big at some point. It wasn't sudden, it wasn't like a flick of a switch, but at some point after seeing them and listening to them, I found myself not caring what others thought and doing things I wanted to do. Indirectly, they taught me to be myself, that it's okay to be different. Cliche as it may be, I probably wouldn't be the same person today without them.

And to hear about Panic's split breaks my heart.

Best of luck to Ryan and Jon, who will undoubtedly be successful if they play their cards right, and best of luck to Brendon and Spencer, who carry on Panic's legacy, if you will. Maybe they'll ressurect the "!" who knows? I'll be following both parties and will hopefully not be disappointed.

Being Sentimental is Underrated

Have you ever kept little, near-meaningless knick-knacks, notes, or letters? Ever told yourself that you will have no use for it and throw it out? Ever thought someone who did that was being stupid? The answers should hopefully be the following: yes, no, of course not. If they weren't you're truly missing out on something.

I was cleaning parts of my room today --shocker, I know-- and found a couple cards (birthday, holiday, get well, etc.) and notes from months and years back. And being the weird, never-can-let-anything-go kind of person I am, I read them. I guess I'm a sucker because I had a smile etched on my face for the entire time I spent reading. I'm not on the greatest terms with one of my best friends at the moment. A complete betrayal of trust in my eyes. Forgiven, but not forgotten and definitely back to square one of that trust level. It was something so trivial which makes the whole trust thing escalate. But he's on the other side of the world for the time being. Anyway, he wrote me a Christmas card despite his being Jewish (but he spends Christmas with my family regardless XP). It reminded me why we're such amazing friends. It reminded me of how lucky I am. It reminded me that no matter how many fights we get in, how many times I get frustrated or angry with him, how many times we will both make mistakes, we will always have that bond and friendship. Yes, I am being an incredibly big block of cheeeeeese right now, but I could care less. Because I have made some of the greatest relationships I could ever ask for.

Moral of this post: Don't throw the little things away. They serve as reminders for what you may forget. And on a side note, don't always be the man behind the camera, literally. You'll look back on the pictures and wish you were in them. It's something I've experienced and regret, but I can't break out of the habit completely, not yet. Pictures and informal notes: the tangible memories that your mind can't always retain for you.

We Interrupt this Broadcast

A brief pause in the music scene for a bit because, hey, I never said this was a music blog nor do I intend it to be. It just happened to be that the everlasting battle of what music genre is best or hit songs vs. complete albums struck a chord with me at the time. For (great, if I do say so myself) music-based opinions, recommendations, and, well, just plan music (songs and whatnot), check out my good friend Boy Wonder at http://emoboywonder.blogspot.com/. Very good stuff, let me tell you. I recommend for anyone in or wanting to get in the rock, pop-punk, or electronica scene. Scratch that, I recommend for anyone really. Seriously, his reviews are top-notch; check them out. Plus, you don't have to worry about him bashing your favorite artist or something. He posts what he enjoys, and I hope you enjoy it, too. Alright, enough shameless whoring. This turned into a music post without my intending...

GRADUATION <-- it's a word you always throw around, an event you know is coming, yet when it hits you, it hits you hard but in the slow-progressively-getting-more-noticed kind of way. Put it this way, when the ceremony is over, all you think about is must get pictures with all my friends. Then, summer hits, and you have all your plans either travelling, working, preparing for the upcoming fall, simply hanging out, or some sort of combination of the aforementioned possibilities. Slowly but surely, for most people, that day on your calendar circled in red marked "MOVE-IN DAY" crawls closer and closer. And you begin to realize, this is it. This is a new beginning (of course thought in less groundbreaking, cliche terms, more like "oh, fuck"). I can't comment on how it will be the week before everyone disperses across the country because I haven't reached that point myself. I'll jump off that bridge when I get to it (crossing is just way to easy and I like a bit of an adrenaline rush). For now, I'm going to make the most of my summer: travelling in foreign countries, working for a bit of spending money, and hanging out with old friends, new friends, best friends, and friends I hope to not let go. No need for teary goodbyes when we get to the point of send-offs because we didn't see enough of each other. Just one last hug and a "see you later" will suffice.

snap crackle POP

As mentioned in a previous post, I thought a discussion involving various musical genres would be interesting, seeing as my friends' taste in music, as well as my own, span far and wide through the vast sea of notes, beats, and melodies. I can't say I won't be impartial because 1. it's my blog (and the likelihood of anyone actually reading this is about the same as fangirls denouncing Myspace, Buzznet, and the like... slim to none) and 2. being opinionated results in more interesting and enriching conversation.

But instead of one "blog" of every genre, different posts will be devoted to solely one type. And today, we begin with pop and Top 40. (strictly pop, not delving into the realm of pop-punk or anything)

I'd be lying if I said there was no talent within the pop gene-pool because there are many, many artists who are vocally (if not also instrumentally) talented. Kelly Clarkson qualifies as does Christina Aguilera. Each of their voices, when stripped down and pulled away from editting and studio work, is great, least to say. Live shows truly show that. Give a purely vocal pop artist a mic and perhaps some guitar or piano background music and the true test is whether or not he or she can carry out the song based solely on his or her vocal prowess. For the most part, these ladies pass the test with flying colors. A group that doesn't is the Pussycat Dolls. Now, don't get me wrong; I like their songs as much as the next guy. However, I think their looks/sex appeal (<-- don't deny it), dancing, and catchy, computerized synths (a-la-"When I Grow Up") make their singing better, if not cover up what flaws their singing may have. Honestly, I think their dancing is better than their singing. This is not an attack on PCD because I know I will still be listening to them on my own accord. This is merely an example of how pop is more than just sugary melodies and includes appearance and presentation. As much as I hate to say it, when is the last time an overweight pop singer made it big?

And if you want my opinion on Disney pop (which I think should almost be its own genre and category), look directly below this post. If you want the Sparknotes version, I don't particularly approve.

Finally, a question that relates more to the rock scene than pop (and perhaps not even music at all)...
When guys paint their nails (typically black, as I have seen), do they do it themselves? Do their friends (male or female) help them? Or do they go to a nail salon and get them done? Or some sort of combination, depending on their mood?

Next up... Rap/Hip-hop

Faux Singers?

Random thought that popped into my head (and I happened to be on the computer)...

Is it me, or do all Disney stars (former or current) have the need to "launch their music careers" at some point? There is no way that all of them have immense musical talents.

Examples include Hilary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, Corbin Bleu (granted, he was in High School Musical, so some talent must have been necessary), Vanessa Hudgens (same thing), Ashley Tisdale (same thing), Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana, Selena Gomez, Mitchel Musso, etc.

I don't get it. It bugs me. Actors turned singers (as in, releasing self-title/self-named albums) bug me unless actual talent is involved. Or maybe Disney actor-singers bug me... Whatever.

And to end to random rant and tangent of the day, I wonder how Mason Musso feels about his little brother starting up in the music biz, probably garnering a bigger fanbase of screaming tweens faster than he was able to simply because Mitchel's a Disney "star"...

Ridiculous

I definitely meant to write about how ridiculous (in the most awesome way) my week was when it was still, well, that week. But it was delayed, and I would like to re-live through words regardless.

Saturday- Prom. Kinda fun. Bad food. Good friends. Lots of pictures. My camera never left my hand.
Saturday/Sunday- After-Prom. Absolute crazy madness worth of fun. A lot of falling. I can't remember a lot of it, but I had an amazing time, that much I'm sure. Went back to a friend's house for late night/early morning drunken-ness and swimming.
Sunday- Aftermath. Woke up to friends, swimming, and the Lakers. Not much more I can ask.
Monday- School. Buzzkill.
Tuesday- All Time Low video shoot. Wow. It definitely beat my prom experience in terms of fun and amazing-ness. Neck and neck with after-prom. Can't even explain the euphoria.
Wednesday- School. Semi-buzzkill. XP Still on an adrenaline rush/high from the day prior.
Thursday night/Friday morning- Grad Nite at Disneyland. Lots of fun. Absolutely exhausted on the ride home.

And thus, my not really full week of excitement ends. But it was definitely one of the best weeks of my life. No exaggeration. Can't really compare it to my 8th grade Yosemite trip though. I'll put them in two different categories of awesome.

Albums vs. Singles/Songs

A strange debate has taken place in my head about the idea of albums and records of artists versus simply invdividual songs or singles. As of late, I have liked buying whole albums as opposed to songs. I feel like listening to a record in its entirety enhances the meaning the artist(s) try to portray through his/her/their music and sometimes brings even more feeling to the singles everyone hears. Like the songs in The Black Parade. Individually, they are all great songs to listen to. Individually, some people adore them, while others scorn them for being the epitome of stereotypical emo with a circling theme of darkness and death. But together, they tell a story of life and death and the emotions that run through your veins in the moments before and after you take your last breath. Concept albums such as TBP are meant to be listened to as wholes, though they can produce chart-topping singles.

Other albums have songs that are quite possibly impossible to listen to without the rest of the record. Forgive Durgen's Razia's Shadow is essentially a musical within an album, narration and all. The songs typically end with narration leading to the following song. The songs themselves are quite enjoyable to listen to, but missing pieces disallows listeners to fully appreciate what the congregation of musicians have put out.

Then, there are albums that don't have a connection between their songs other than the genre and the artist. Pretty.Odd., Folie a Deux, and City of Evil are all records I love listening to as collective groups rather than singling out the songs within them. As good as they may be, I find a strange enjoyment listening to them all together with the other songs in the album.

And that's my muscial rant for today. Maybe a discussion of rock vs. hip-hop vs. pop next time?

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

*begin vent sesh'*

I feel. Period. ("period" Period "period"?) I cannot insert any one emotion at the end of that sentence. It's not so much an emotional rollercoaster but rather an emotional scrambler. You know those rides where you're in a little car-type thing and it spins you, and then you try to high-five your friend in the other car-type thing while the person running the thing is yelling at you to keep your hands inside the "vehicle"? Yeah, that scrambler. I have so many different feelings running amuck within me, and I've found no other satisfying way to sort them out other than here. We're being green here, people. No need for the use of paper.

Most prominent, I have been excited/happy/ecstatic about college. I'm going to (in my eyes) an amazing school, I have a roommate, and I'm registered for orientation in June. I can't believe it's all happening, graduation then college and such; it's so surreal... bringing up my next point.

I, as of recently, am scared. Not anxious. Not nervous. Flat. out. scared. It's not so much graduation (that goes under the excited category) but what happens after that. I'm not social by nature. I don't meet tons of new people; I make friends with individuals. The problem is that I don't make the effort to maintain said friendships. The friends I have now are basically family, but they're the ones calling me, never the other way around. I've met other people throughout high school, and even though I would call them "friends," they're more like "acquaintances" as horrible as that sounds. Don't lie to yourself; you know people like that, too. Back to why I'm scared: I have no idea what it will be like once everyone's gone for college. I'm fucking terrified that we'll lose contact with each other. Moreso that I will lose contact with them. And the sad thing is that I wouldn't do a thing about it. Just sulk in self-pity because I'm a self-loathsome kind of person, but I don't normally tell anyone that...

Moving on, I guess the other biggest feeling I've been having is frustration, non-menstrual cycle related (but who am I to say it didn't contribute?). As much as I love my friends, they piss me off sometimes. Yes, I am aware this is completely contradictory to what I said above. I think I just have a short bullshit-tolerance level, and I definitely have a barely-there lack-of-common-sense tolerance. Prom sucks. People who flake suck. People who don't realize that this is senior year and that we will not have another experience like this all together again suck. I'm willing to delve into my own pocket and savings to make sure we can all do this, but some people have too much pride, while others refuse help. I'm kind of sick of everything already. If I hadn't paid for everything, I would consider not going and returning to my shell of anti-social-ness. But I did, so I won't, and I'll have to deal.

There's a little anxiety flowing around, too, what with APs being next week and all. That's not so much a big deal since I'm technically in college already. But passing = credits = less courses = less money that has to be spent. OR passing = credits = more space for elective courses = opportunity to actually continue drawing and art.

On a side note with no identifiable emotion that I can think of is the feeling of always being a black sheep. Even when I somewhat fit in somewhere, there's always something to set me apart. But I guess that's what makes everyone else unique, huh? I don't know. Sometimes, I wonder if I landed myself in the wrong group of friends, not that I would change anything. I really do love them. But this is a post for another day, I suppose...

Bah, this was too long. And it doesn't even cover everything. But it covers the majority of it, I guess. And it helped get things off my chest. Music is my boyfriend and is doing a fan-fucking-tastic job of keeping me sane at the moment. I need to go to a live show, stat. It's been too long since my ears have been pierced by the sounds of guitars, bass, drums, and screams.

The title of this post has been brought to you by the lovely gentlemen of My Chemical Romance. My sanity thanks you, Mr. Way, Mr. Way, Mr. Iero, Mr. Toro, and Mr. Bryar.

*end vent sesh*

I'm No Philosopher

Finally went to the beach. It was fantastic. That was expected. What was not expected was thinking of matters greater than moments consisting of myself and my friends. I stood at the shore (the water was freezing) with the waves meeting my feet only to recede back into the ocean, and I thought to myself "What a concept." Different people walk into your life, and I'm not talking about your best friends. I'm talking about the people with whom you converse not too often, yet you remember them. And as soon as you begin to revel in their presence, their momentary stance with you disappears and retreats back into obscurity. But they're not really gone. They stay with you and shape who you are. The friends and family you see and with whom you interact can obviously have a huge influence in your life. But sometimes, it's the people who tangentially touch you --such that it almost seems immaterial-- that help shape your views and personality. Each wave onto shore is different, as is every person, but they blend together to make something greater.

Don't know if I conveyed everything within my thoughts at the moment, but I hope that the jist of it is displayed.

Rejection

Honestly, it's not as bad as it seems. You found out, you move on, and you don't dwell.

Speaking of which, I got rejected from a college today. My first, actually. Considering it was a "reach" for me, I will say that I was expecting it. But expecting something and something actually happening are two vastly different things. Mildly disappointed, but I'm already in somewhere I would love to go and still waiting for other schools. Things could be worse.

On the other, one my best best best best friends who is my brother from another mother (one of many) got it, and I am absolutely ecstatic for him. It is in-fucking-credible, and he will most likely be going there. Woot!

Over and out (but the game's not over yet).

Dictatorship

I feel like I would be a god-awful ruler or dictator. Rewind and re-phrase. My mom thinks that I would be a god-awful ruler or dictator. She knows about my low tolerance for people with an incredible amount of stupidity or a severe lack of common sense. And then she laughed at me because in the "real world," I will be constantly dealing with such people, and they may be in a higher career position than I at times. Buzzkill. So, what does this have to do with being a dictator? I decided that, should I ever be the one to make rules and such for some odd reason, no one who falls under the category of "lacking common sense and/or extremely idiotic" will be allowed to pro-create. Take the octo-mom (or octo-pussy, as Perez Hilton likes to call her) for example. Complete moron. She says that it is God's wish for her to have all these children.

....................

Excuse me? Maybe the fact that you were artificially inseminated is the reason for all your children. Not God's will. Not anyone's will but your own. Not even your mom's will! And now, the world has to deal with a whole new generation running around with her genes. Let's hope that they are stupidity-gene-free.

Back to the new world order... Yeah, no passing on DNA ridden with idiocy. That's all I ask.

Common sense, people. It's not incredibly hard to use it.

P.S. This was a completely random post that was spurred by mom laughing at my ranting and raving at some of the ridiculous acts committed by some of my peers.

Confusion and Frustration

... but mostly frustration.

I don't think that I have ever hated a class or teacher as much as I do my English class this year. I'll take my 6th grade science teacher over her, and he threw stools and slammed doors. Anyway, contrary to belief, I like English; reading is one of my favorite pasttimes, and good literature never ceases to amaze me. I did not sign up for AP Literature and Composition simply because of the points it would add to my GPA (though, I admit, that definitely played a factor), rather so I could better myself in writing and possibly read some great books. Is that so much to ask? But I digress...

Today, my teacher (who shall remain nameless) decides to go over study questions (requiring much more analysis as opposed to "find the answer in the book" sort of stuff) for Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad (not particularly interesting to me but I deal). For some reason unbeknowest to myself, this week she has been unmotivated to teach at all. Like yesterday, we went over questions without so much as a correction and then she gets annoyed when we don't have the right answer and has us do a writing assignment on something already correctly and thoroughly answered by a student. Moving on to today... The questions become more of a pop quiz: each of us is assigned 2-3 questions from the packet that should have already been filled out, and we present our answers for the class to take notes. Not only is that annoying (I'm not one for public speaking), but it is also no help what-so-ever. She did not make an effort to even correct us. One guy presents his answer and she says (and I quote) "Mhm... that doesn't seem right" and proceeds to type in his grade on the computer in front of her face. Would it have been stupid of me to ask her "Then what is the right answer?" Whatever, I can deal with that; however, with her following actions, I could not.

Another student proceeds to share his answer with the class. What he says never came across my thoughts as I read the book yesterday. So, I think to myself "Where did he find that? He's either looking way into the text or it's probably from Sparknotes". But it's really none of my business. Turns out, it's the latter, and our teacher goes insane. Not the overly dramatic, wild insane, but the quiet anger and frustration with wide eyes that stare at you as if it will melt the flesh off your face. She goes on a tangent about how we, as a class, are unable to think for ourselves and rely on other sources to tell us what we are reading... What.the.fuck. Just because one person shares outside information does not mean the entire class uses it as well.

And after her lovely speech, she tells us "I'm done for today," and goes to her desk to sit. Oh, but not before explaining that we have an essay tomorrow and that she will be scouring Sparknotes tonight to ensure that we do not plagerize.

The cherry on top of this is that after class, she holds back a group of students (myself included) telling us that we must attend an optional writing workshop to improve our essay writing skills. For the record, in this group of students, is one of the few people who holds an A in the class, and as for myself, she used my thesis paragraph as a good example not too long ago. Why the hell should I go to this shit when I fully know that I am a better writer than some not required to do so?

Enough of my ranting. Maybe a little "Open Happiness" will cheer me up...

Title Credit: Sum 41

Night In

Two of my best friends are over right now. Dancing and what-not. We all differ in music choices, but we make it work. Currently, Soulja Boy is blasting on my lap. Her choice, not mine, not his. We'll see what'll be playing later.

Tournament tomorrow. It's been a while since I've actually played a game. Whatever. Until next time...

Stick to Your Interests

Have you ever noticed the number of "hate comments" people leave? Especially on YouTube videos. I wonder if they purposely go to links featuring people/things that they so enthusiastically hate. Hello? If you don't like, don't watch. Seriously. I'm all for having your own thoughts and shit, but why would you watch and comment something you fully know is not something that would be enjoyable.

I don't understand.

Pinch Me

Because I must be dreaming. I got an acceptance letter from USC today, and I am BEYOND ecstatic! My mom went there, so naturally, I grew up watching Trojan football (with an obvious disdain for UCLA). I don't know... A lot of people told me I would be able to get in, but being the stubborn, pessimistic, minimal-self-esteem-having person I am, I would not believe a word until it happened.

And I'm so glad it did! I think I'm going to run around and scream for a bit.

Bi-Polar, Maybe?

The weather that is. Hot, summer day to cold drizzle the next, then another clear day and today, (northern) downpour. I don't care what goes on, I just wish it was consistent. >.<

I had a dream the other night. But in the dream, it seemed like present-time and the past 3 months have been the dream. I walked in the dining room after getting the mail when my gramps walks by me and stands next to me. I think something's wrong because he passed away 3 months ago. Everyone in the room stares at me like I'm insane while I blabber incessantly about how he's not supposed to be here. And he just gives me that squinty-eyed look that's like "what in the world are you talking about" and says "I'm fine." Strange, really. It makes me believe in some sort of afterlife now. That or the mind creates things for yourself to give you reassurance and some peace of mind.

Club soccer started up again yesterday. We played flag football, ultimate frizbee, handball, and tug-o-war (or however you spell it). Severe lack of soccer and working out. Not that I'm complaining. After 5 months of soccer 5 days a week, a little deviation from the norm is just fine with me.

Good Ol' Days

But really, where'd they go? Coming home to watch cartoons that were genuinely funny instead of computer animated, faux-3D shit. I admit that I do adore Finding Nemo and all that jazz, but it should stick to films, not afternoon shows. Even then, there are no more "regular" Disney movies anymore... Anywho, and fucking MTV now shouldn't even be allowed to call itself that anymore. MUSIC Television implies that music should be on it, no? Not ridiculously fake "reality" shows with music playing in the background as another pathetic attention-seeking idiot cries from her 5th break-up of the week. Ughh, I want to go back to coming home from school and turning on TRL, hoping that My Chemical Romance or, later on, Panic(!) at the Disco triumphing over the world of pop and hip-hop.

I want to go back to the good old days.

Insomnia or Stubborn-ness?

What the fuck am I doing still awake? I have that feeling where I'm kinda-sorta-maybe tired/sleepy, but if I wanted to do so, I could go out and do something.

Screaming Three Days Grace songs and driving down nearly empty roads late into the night while drinking some boba is why I love my friends and what we live for. Moments of fun and pure insanity.

Time to find some z's. Hopefully, they will not evade me.

Thanks, Presidents

No school tomorrow. But it's not like I'm doing anything productive at the moment either. I've been feeling very anti-social. No idea why. Do you ever have those days when your phone starts ringing, and you think "I really don't feel like talking to you... or anyone for that fact"? Eh, maybe I'll break the streak and go out tonight.

Or I can be stubborn and curl up on the couch to watch TV and/or play video games like the nerd I am.

And the Hiatus Ends

Blink-182 is back, and I can't express in words how amazing that is. This band (and Green Day) is the reason why I listen to rock instead of following the "crowd" at school and stuff with pop and hip-hop. I'm as giddy as a fangirl, and I am not ashamed of that fact.

On a personal note, we came back today from Alex's (step-dad's) house, and it was one of the best fucking weekends ever. Except now my stomach and head are paying the price.

Ehhh, it was worth it.

Enablers

Why is it that it's always the sober persons who take the part of enablers during a night of good fun? Do they enjoy the entertainment? I don't blame them if they do. But I have my own principles. Smoking is no. Drinking is a go, as always.

I am home for a short period of time (probably amounting to a few hours) from the little getaway my friends have planned. We have to eat somehow, and I, being my Asian and motherly self, have decided to get some Kbbq for everyone, rice and rice cooker included.

No hangovers this morning. That is a success to me. We'll see how tomorrow shapes up to be. I'll be the one in the outdoor pool tonight as it rains.

Mutiny is Strange to Experience

Things are not okay on the homefront, soccer-wise. Team gangs up on Girl. Girl is upset. Coach calls and consoles. Team is having a meeting tomorrow before potential biggest game this season. What in the world happened? Jealousy? Selfishness? Bad coaching? I'll go with D) All of the above. Or at least to a certain extent.

In school-related news, there is a 3-5 page Hamlet essay I have yet to start due tomorrow. Can we say potential all-nighter? Though, I doubt it, what with the impending game tomorrow and such. *sigh* Second semester was supposed to be waaaay easier. Damn.

Tradition... Sort of

I guess I've created a sort of tradition for myself throughout the high school. Since freshmen year, I've found myself injured every second semester: sprained ankle 9th grade, knee surgery 10th grade (right), knee surgery 11th grade (left). My left knee has been swollen for a week now with no subsiding of the swelling. This is doesn't look good.

Game tonight. Playing is debateable. Then dinner with the fam-bam and friends. Strange them Asians are.

Blog?

Hello world.

Why a blog? My new years resolution has been going down the drain. Seeing as I keep many things to myself, I was supposed to start letting my (closest) friends know more about my thoughts and emotions this year. Epic fail. So, this will ultimately allow be to let things out and open up for others to see. Hopefully, there will be no more drunken rants about things I've hid away for so long... Anywho, yeah, new blog. Let's see how long this lasts.

Oh, and T is sort of an alias to maintain my anonymity throughout the worldwide web.

xoxo